Find inspiration habitually
February 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment
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Garr Reynolds reminds us that we cannot wait for inspiration to strike us. We must actively seek to find inspiration.
I wrote about finding inspiration a few days ago. In fact, I consider it is the first important ingredient for a fulfilling life. Some areas where you can find inspiration include
- Parents and family
- Good friends
- Holy texts
- inspired People
- Great speakers
- Music
- Art
- Nature
I suggest that you think about making it a habit to find inspiration. You can read about habit forming here. Write in your journal every day about your sources of inspiration. Wow! Can you imagine what you can come up with?
Of course, the goal is that in the end, you find inspiration within yourself. When you can always rely on yourself for our your inspiration you will be able to face any and all obstacles and people will turn to you to make their lives better. You will become their inspiration.
Think about it. Aren’t the greatest people who inspire others driven by something inside of them? What is it inside of you that drives you? Ask yourself this question for the next 30 days, every day, write about it in your journal and tell me what you found.
[tags]inspiration, leadership, journal, habits, life-coach[/tags
Spirituality connects you to others
February 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Britt Bravo’s blog about spirituality and social justice provoked me become even more clear about my spirituality. I have never been in a place where spirituality was disconnected from social justice, exactly because being spirit filled is the realization of connection with others.
It is a puzzle to me how spirituality can be so individualistic. What reason to be spiritual but to realize your connectedness to the world, the physical world and the spirit world. We are being seduced however, to seek spirituality and take action only after we have discovered the spirit, our purpose in life, God, or whatever you call it.
It is only through action that we can discover who we really are, including as spiritual people. I wrote about the possibility to learn to love yourself by praying for somebody else. Sometimes, you don’t know how to love yourself, but I think that you will feel better about yourself when you serve someone else.
Serve somebody. Share food. My bishop, Yvette Flunder, always urges people to serve while they are waiting to hear from God about His plan for them in this life. Our purpose can be revealed to us in so many ways. It usually doesn’t happen when we sit still and listen to the spirit. Most of the times, our purpose becomes clear when we interact with others and respond to something somebody says, or something we see. Give yourself then the opportunity to learn about yourself by getting out there and serving others. A the gestalt psychologists said: you cannot know yourself on an uninhabited island.
And when we are connected, truly connected, can we not see the suffering in people? On the contrary, it takes a great effort on our part to block the suffering from our consciousness. We work hard to be less conscious of the world than we truly are. And we need a spiritual practice to strengthen ourselves. I believe that we reduce our consciousness, because we fear that we cannot handle the suffering of others, in particular since there is already so much going on in our lives.
That is what Christ is giving me, though. I have the opportunity to see and feel his support and strength so that I don’t have to shut my eyes. And when I can witness most clearly the suffering of others, without being blown away by it, that is when I feel most connected and most spiritual.
There is a heavy burden of history that Christianity has given us. That is the burden of salvation. For so long, christians seemed to be concerned primarily with being saved. I have never shared that concern—perhaps I was spared by being an atheist. It has never made sense to me that we are created by God to be condemned. When you listen to the sermon by Yvette Flunder that is interspersed on the CD, Whosoever Believes, you will hear what I mean. We do what we do, not to earn the Grace of God, but exactly because of the Grace of God which has already been given to us, for free.
We act for social justice precisely because we have been given God’s Grace. That grace which allows us to be fully human, which means that we see the world for what it really is and we are able to connect. We don’t have to shut ourselves off, we can open our eyes and when it hurts what we see, we have God to fall back on.
Technorati Tags: spirituality, christianity, social-justice, service, God, grace, salvation
Personal Leadership: Beyond Stephen Covey’s Circle of Influence
February 20, 2008 | 1 Comment
I define leadership as the acknowledgment that part of this world’s life is yours.
Many will at this point think about Stephen Covey’s idea of the circle of concern and the circle of influence. It is a powerful idea. In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey distinguishes two circles. The inner circle is the circle of influence. That is the circle of your life where your activities make a difference.
The outer circle is the circle of concern. You worry about it, but there is nothing that you can do that will change that circle. However, and the is the crucial part, the more you focus on your circle of influence, the larger it tends to get. Leadership starts with focusing on your circle of influence. Relentlessly. If you keep blaming the circumstances, you are not a leader. And don’t be confined by this idea. You will enlarge your circle of influence tremendously beyond what you thought possible.
But there is one problem with this picture. The circle of concern is never fully closed around you. There are always gaps in that circle. It is in those gaps that you can jump ahead and make something really awesome happen. Innovation happens here.
This is why I admire Al Gore. He jumped in the gaping hole that existed when nobody was talking about climate change. He did that many years ago, and he is doing it today. As a matter of fact, during his years as vice-president, he focused on the closed circle of influence within a closed circle of concern. That circle of concern was dictated by the state of American politics. Once he lost the election to George Bush—a tragic moment in American history for sure—he went back and saw that the opening was still there. He moved on and has now received the Nobel Peace Price for his work.
Don’t be confined by the circle of concern and the circle of influence. Seek instead to find where the openings are and you will change the world.
Technorati Tags: leadership, covey, habits, effectiveness, gore, innovation
The secret to happiness
February 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment
It is a somewhat rambling post by Lisa Earle McCleod at the Huffington Post, but this is the precious nugget that I could not but share with you. It is too true.
But the real secret of happiness isn’t balance at all, it’s two very simple things: We’re the happiest when we’re connected to others and we know that what we’re doing with our time makes a difference.
All too true.
Technorati Tags: happiness, balance, life
Coaching training
February 20, 2008 | 1 Comment
Yesterday I was asked whether I had followed training from the International Coaching Federation. I told the person I had not. I researched it, but frankly, I didn’t see any significant reward in this kind of training. There is simply not that much new that they provide and the attempt to create a certification is mostly a way to make it more difficult to enter the market for new comers. Certification potentially raises fees for those who are involved in coaching.
There is a good reason to want to certify, and Seth Godin explained in his book The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick). There has to be a difficult period to go through, which sorts the “real” coaches from those who only have a business card with that title. Currently there is no legitimate certification for coaches. Organizations that say they certify sell something, smokes and mirrors mostly, but they don’t really certify. I am skeptical of them.
This morning I read Johnnie Moore’s ideas about coaching. First of all, he makes an important statement about what works:
Research on what actually works in any kind of person-to-person relationship where there is some goal of personal change concludes that there is one key factor in success, and it isn’t the technique used. It’s that both participants have faith and trust in each other and share some optimism about the outcome. That creates the context in which the client can figure out for himself the best way forward. This gives him the joy of disovery and an inherent sense of ownership.
Training schools train in methodologies. But reliance on method may be counterproductive.
Timothy Gallwey, author of the “Inner Game” who points out that coaches who come in with solutions for clients actually tend to reinforce their client’s sense of incompetence. Richard Farson, a great writer on management, also suggests that standard training has the same effect – it actually disables the recipients confidence in their own talent and ability to work out solutions.
Johnnie Moore and I share a background in improvisation, though his experience is much more extensive than mine. I share this piece of his philosophy:
I’m also a believer in improvisation, a willingness to experiment and try new things out without getting overly attached to getting it right. I’m good at helping clients figure out new, more exciting choices open to them in what first seemed like impossible situations.
Like Johnnie Moore, I too offer a free first session. My client and I have to know that we can indeed work together, that we are a good fit. After that first session we both have to make a decision whether we want to work together. I too have to make that decision. If I don’t think I am the best possible person for you, I will tell and possibly suggest someone else. Doing otherwise would violate my sense of ethics. And my client has to think I am the best person to help her or him.
This is how I state what I do as a coach:
When you work with me you will
- figure out what you want (or need) to do,
- determine that you can do it,
- plan how you will do it,
- overcome resistance to do it,
- take the steps to do it.
Sounds simple enough, but don’t be fooled. Show me someone who can do these things, and I show you someone who has mastered her or his life.
It is an interaction between you and me, an interaction which focuses relentlessly on improving your life.
Technorati Tags: coaching, training, methodology
Signs of dysfunctional leadership
February 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment
There are many ways to tell whether your organization suffers from dysfunctional leadership. Here are twelve of them. This list is clearly not exhaustive, but quite diagnostic.
- Everybody shows up at nine or slightly thereafter and leaves at five or slightly before. Also, staff knows exactly all the holidays (including president’s day), but forget that lunch hour doesn’t count towards your eight hours at work.
- Staff are pulled in many different directions and can’t decide what is most important. Nobody is truly empowered to set priorities in their own work.
- People lack a terrible sense of urgency.
- Strategic visions live in the minds of those at the top, and the rest of the organization is guessing
- Or the rest doesn’t care
- Decisions get made, but they don’t get carried out
- No one shows real passion. Are you creating a better world?
- People at work complain about trivialities. “I don’t disagree with what you said, but I disagree with the way you said it.”
- Staff meetings are dedicated to making forms.
- Those in charge talk and don’t listen
- Staff is always asking solutions from the top.
- The one in charge can never be reached. “Oh, he is too busy for that, really he cannot be reached.” Just remember that she gets paid the big bucks precisely to talk to staff, constituents, clients.
Of course, we always know that it is the fault of the leaders. Just remember, if you are not a leader yourself, in charge of what your tasks and projects are, what are you still doing there.
Technorati Tags: leadership, organization
Stop eating beef
February 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment
I don’t think anybody can be called a leader when they know something and don’t act according to that knowledge. We have known about abuses of animals for a long time, I have. You have too, be honest. The question now is, how do you act on your knowledge. Why did we have to wait on the Humane Society?
Mother Jones writer Stephanie Mincer argues that we should ban beef from all school lunches. Yes and amen. Putting children at risk by giving them the lowest grade beef that is not proven safe is one more illustration of this country’s concern with child well being and the importance of schooling. But we should all stop eating beef.
I have known about abuses for a long time, we all have. Honestly, these videos were sickening, but we did know. We just blocked our consciousness to be able to eat beef. And now I no longer want to disregard what I know and participate in this slaughter.
I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the number of pounds that have been recalled. 143 millions pounds of beef. That is a staggering number.
If you haven’t seen the images yet, I am sorry but here they are:
Technorati Tags: recall, beef, california, leadership
A fulfilling life, episode 3: Contribution
February 15, 2008 | Leave a Comment
There are three elements to a fulfilling life and three qualities with which to address those elements. The three elements are:
- Inspiration
- Destination
- Contribution
And the three Qualities are:
- Leadership
- Service
- Joy
In the coming days I will write about these various topics. Today I will write about Contribution.
My father-in-law passed away almost two years ago. I remember many things about him, but one stands out that he shared with so many men of his generation. Being a part of World War II was the highlight of his life. It is remarkable to think about that, because 61 years passed since the end of that war. Didn’t he do anything worthwhile since that time? Of course he did.
I have to break a taboo here. The American Dream is a pipe dream. It doesn’t work. The reason it doesn’t work is well known, but you were afraid to say it. The American Dream is all about individual achievement, working hard, buying a house (in the suburbs) and raising a family. But that is not the reason the men of WWII thought that that fight was the most important part of their lives.
The American Dream suggests that you can build a great America by achieving a large house in the suburbs and driving an SUV to go grocery shopping. This is no longer true. The American Dream is destroying not just this country, but the entire planet. That is the price of our power hungry life style.
Everybody wants to be part of something larger then themselves, to express themselves fully. But self expression for its own sake rarely works. It works only when you express yourself in the service of a noble goal.
Individualism is a false aim. Individuals don’t thrive alone, the thrive with others, though not necessarily with all others.
It is not so much about sacrificing yourself as it is about becoming yourself. You become yourself when you express yourself fully in your culture, not apart from it.
We make up for ever decreasing social involvement with ever increasing material pursuit.
The Iraq war demands no sacrifice for those who are not soldiers. But it demands the sacrifices of the next generation which is saddles with mounting debts.
What really is important in peoples lives, what they really cherish is making a contribution. Really, think about this long and hard, because it requires a fundamental rethinking of life goals. The American Dream ultimately is all about yourself. But when you are at the end of your life, is the fact that you have bought your own home really what you want to think about? I didn’t think so. It is your contribution to the betterment of this world that is really going to make a difference. You will feel much stronger about your life if you know that you have contributed.
Your contribution doesn’t have to be that of say, Nelson Mandela. He is unique. But what do you remember: your house, or the fact that you brought a life into this world, and helped see that life develop? Did you make an extra effort because this child was deaf and everybody thought she was not too bright? That is an important contribution.
There is another reason why fighting in World War II was so important. Not only did these men and women make a tremendous contribution, they put their lives at stake for the sake of rescuing the world. Again, the American Dream states that safety is the first thing you need to achieve. I want you to be safe, trust me. But at the same time, am I not correct when I say that you will remember that effort for which you had to risk yourself? That time when you put yourself, your work, your house on the line.
What is your contribution to a pursuit larger than yourself for which you put yourself at risk? Figure that out and your life will be fulfilling.
Technorati Tags: life, contribution, sacrifice, goal-setting, self-improvement
Active listening
February 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment
You have a choice. Will you listen?
You cannot grow as a human being if you cannot listen to others. It cannot be done.
Active listening is a form of listening that involves the entire body. It asks of group members to listen to one another with their bodies and not just their ears. Listening with the ear is active enough when done with intent and purpose. But in group of people who have meditated for a long a time or have done other types of work to develop listening as a practice, listening with the ear allows to much room for wandering.
Listening is a major problem in this country. So fed have we become with media images of politicians and news anchors shouting, that we have become adjusted to it. But this continual violence keeps harming this country in many important ways.
Those we disagree with on fundamental issues are serious about wanting this country to be a better place and most of what they have to contribute is for the good of all. It isn’t that we refuse to see that; we are literally incapable of seeing that. The violence of language has made us all so fear stricken that the only thing we can do when faced with disagreement is to shout back or to walk away. But to really listen is a lost art of civility. This problem exists for everybody, those on my side and those on the opposite side. There is a thorough lack of listening capacity in this country and an abundance of shouting at each other. What is it going to do? Make someone start to agree with you? Very doubtful. Are you going to understand why someone else thinks the way they do? Very scary, for some reason.
I really understand why someone wants to propose waterboarding suspected terrorists. I really do. It is awful and I disagree, but I really do understand it. What I cannot stomach is the lack of concern that the proponents of this torture display. “It’s a no-brainer” Dick Cheney says. That is awful. I want the vice-president to lay awake at night pondering the enormity of these kinds of decisions. But the moment he considers this a no-brainer, he has given up on all civility. He is no longer a fully human being, because he lacks the fundamental capacity for empathy. And without empathy, this world is truly doomed. I really believe that.
Podcast: The power of habits
February 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment
I have created a podcast about the power of habits. I make use of the wonderful ourmedia publishing source. You can listen to my podcast there directly or you can listen to it here:
Do let me know what you think.
Technorati Tags: leadership, habits, self-improvement
