Welcome. I’m Niels Teunis, Ph.D. I coach parents, and I mediate when people need help to resolve their conflicts. Please read on and see if I can be of help.
I coach parents, particularly parens of boys. I help you understand why things get hard and give practical advice that often create change within a week or less.
What I will show you is that you can trust your child to show you exactly what they need. The problem is often that in the day to day compression of parenting we don’t see the signals clearly for what they are. And when we as parents do get what our kids are telling us, we may not feel that we have what it takes to respond adequately. Before long you will regain your confidence though.
As a certified mediator I help you solve your conflict yourself. Mediation is a collaborative practice that empowers you to engage in conflict, learn what you really need and find a solution with your partner. I use mediation for a variety of situations.
Mediation and Divorce
Mediation is almost always the better way to go when you are getting a divorce. Otherwise you’re going to have to go to court with lawyers in tow. Court heats up the conflict and when both parties hire attorneys things get expensive really quickly.
Mediation is a process where you can come to a voluntary agreement about divorce, parenting plans and all the other details that you have to settle. In general, people are much more likely to honor a voluntary agreement than one that is imposed by the courts. That means that the likelihood that you have to go back time and again to fight the same battle is much, much smaller. (About 80% of mediation agreements stay in place, versus less than 50% of court decisions.)
For couples, who struggle, no wonder. Parenting in this day and age is terribly hard on your relationship or your marriage.
The role of being in a relationship is that you and your partner lift each other up. When you are no longer lifting each other to a better place than you could be alone, you can return to that place, where you draw out the best in each other. You can find a way back to a life brimming with excitement and wonder just because of the person you get to be with.
When you get married, let’s make sure that you start off in a clear space. You likely have known each other for some time, you may live together already and you have now decided to make a lasting commitment to each other. What’s going to make your marriage a success?
Congratulations. It’s a wonderful moment.
And at the same time a great occasion to start fresh. After all, you want something more, something new, in your relationship. Whatever has accumulated in your relationship until now, this would be a fantastic time to take stock.
Niels Teunis, Ph.D.
I’m an anthropologist and have worked on four different continents. I have observed and participated in family life in Europe, Africa, The Americas and Papua New Guinea, earning my doctorate from Northwestern University in the process. I have been children’s advocate, play mate, clown, comforter, advisor and friend. I’ve taught college students, made theatre, camped all over California, lived in 120˚ temperatures, and taught parenting classes. To some I am better known as Mr. Angela Jernigan. And I am Leah’s favorite punching bag. She’s my step-daughter.
And finally, feel free to read my blog. These articles will give you a good idea of the approach that I use to help you feel confident in raising a great kid and solving your conflicts well.
And sign up for my newsletter. You will receive my book Their Aggression is not Theirs: Energetic Boys at Play. You will also get a message when a new article is up.